There comes a time in everyone’s life where they feel that hollowness in the busyness, the everydayness of life…….and we think, “Isn’t there something more I was created to be or do?” For some it happens early on, for me it is now. I turned 50 in December and the nudges I have had keep getting stronger.
Last week, I was talking to a good friend by phone, ( she has been searching for purpose as well,) and I asked her, “What did you want to do in college? What was your major?” Later on, in return, she had asked me about my degree. I began to tell her that when I was growing up, I was extremely shy and frequently played by myself outside. I loved nature and all God’s animals. I did not grow up in the church and so I had no biblical knowledge at that time but I wouldn’t miss an episode of Wild Kingdom. My dream was to save the animals, which did not have a voice. I thought for sure I would be living in Africa with my safari outfit using my love of photography to do what Merle Perkins did….bring back stories about the animals and bring awareness to their plight. So when I arrived at college, I decided to major in zoology, logically that would accomplish my goal. Well, by junior year, that vision dried up as reality surfaced. I knew my desire did not include being a doctor or vet and that left the research world and constantly looking for grants. All my business friends were on“easy street” with so much time because they did not have all the science labs. So I ended up changing my major to international business with a minor in French (my other love was foreign cultures and travel).
I NOW see God’s hand in every situation. Upon graduation I experienced such regret for my decision because now I would be locked into a cubicle with piped in air and fluorescent lights and no sunshine. (Picture the old time zoos where the animals are caged and pace back and forth. That was me.) See God had put a desire in my heart from birth to be a voice for his creation. Back then I thought it was for the animals, and as I was retelling my journey, I heard God speak to me…..”Same desire, the burden I have given you is for my creation…….the unborn babies that have no voice.” All of the sudden, clarity shined upon my life, God wastes nothing. I may have strayed from the “narrow path”, but He has guided me back when I have detoured. The passage of Cuomo’s baby killing law (I will not grant it its official euphemistic title so as to deceive people that it is anything but that – murder) at the end of January sent me into such states of weeping; the burden is real and I for one am heeding the call. What I did not know was that a month later, a “Day of Mourning” was scheduled for Saturday, February 23, 2019 at the Empire State Plaza convention center in Albany. The event was live-streamed and there were events all over the country. I knew God was calling me to go. And what He said to me that morning was so profound, that it has changed my life forever……
(The book “Calling” is by Jen Tringale and she is an awesome speaker)